Things that you might understand when you are living long enough in Japan

    I admire the beautiful monuments of Japan, breathtaking scenery, heartwarming locals, and the peaceful WABI-SABI culture of Japan. It is a beautiful country, I admit. I've met many friendly and heart-warming Japanese people here. However, there are always two sides of the story. 

    Staying in Japan for long time had taught me lots of valuable lessons (which I'm thankful for) and helped me see some of its deep culture. Here are the few hidden culture that locals won't tell you. Of course, these do not applies to all people. Yet, some of the situation I have seen is saddening.

1. Ever though many people doesn't really have much serious biases. Some of them are white-supremacy "idealist". Some people might not agree with this, but it does exists.

    The reason I said about this is not just because they are selling those whitening products, those are just small fries. If you lives in Japan, you will find more WHITE MEN and JAPANESE WOMEN when it comes to international dating couple. I had this situation. I was hanging out one of my WHITE friend in Japan one day, and we were communicating in English. While we were eating at a restaurant, there were two girls sitting beside us, while their eyes were shining. As if "Wow! It's a WHITE GUY." is written on their face. They were staring at my friend through the whole meal. 

    Some girls might even want to date a Caucasian just because of the skin color. For those that have lived in Japan for long enough, you will definitely heard stories like some girls treat foreigners more like an accessories to show off their status rather than just purely for love. (ofc, there are different stories like foreigners will take advantages of the girls here. Stories always has two sides, alright.)

2. There are Japanese will threat you differently (rudely) when you have an East-Asian friends than other foreigners who has EXOTIC face. I.e. Whites, Blacks, Hispanic, Indians, as long as they don't look like any EAST-ASIAN. 

    Ohh. I experience this one myself. I was a graduate student in Japan, and I saw the way they treated my Vietnamese or Thailander friends are so much different that they did to me. They were rude, disrespect me in a way of how they speak, comparing to their slow tones to my Southeast Asian friends. I was born in a country that has very different culture to Japan. Therefore, my mindset is also distinguishably different. Yet, they were so strict on me. Manners, the "fixed reaction" on how I should do like the Japanese. It was a hell. However, they don't force these values on other foreigners who don't look any like EAST ASIAN. There are some others had different situation but facing the same discrimination. 

3. Lastly, "Uchi（うち）" and "Soto（そと）" is real. Uchi means inside and Soto means outside. It means there is a line whether you are part of them or not. I think this might apply to many foreigners, not just East-Asian, is that YOU WILL NEVER BE A FULL PART OF THE JAPANESE SOCIETY. Some of you might go against this opinion, trust me, partly is because either you are an exotic foreigner who married to a Japanese, or you grew up there. You knew and grew up with the rules there.

   As you have lived long enough in Japan, there is a seniority system programmed and rooted DEEP in the Japanese brains. I had this experience when I just joined the lab. My senpaiS, yes, with an "s", were not willing to teach me anything. They always teach the Japanese students first, and then they will ask those Japanese to teach me instead of just telling me straight. What's worse? There will be lesser information being given and taught to me. That has actually caused me a great deal of suffering when it comes to studying. 

    Every country is not perfect and has its flaws. So does Japan. What you can do is maybe play your "foreign card" well.